Change & Growth

I am officially 21 years old. My birthday was on September 13th and the Lord gave me the same gift He gives me every year: a rainstorm. I woke up at 6:00 AM to the sound of rain hitting my window. My family and my fiance and I had dinner and it was honestly a really nice day. I have so much gratitude in my heart and God is the number one reason. My life is in no way "perfect" but I've learned that our focus determines how we live. If we focus on having "the perfect life" we'll never truly be fulfilled because God sent us to this world with a mission and it wasn't to simply be happy and comfortable nor to strife for our own pleasure. Fulfillment and joy is in walking in what God has called us to. Only each of us knows what that thing is. The Word phrase that jumped out at me during my morning Bible read was, "run in such a way as to get the prize." Only I know my crown so only I will understand what my prize and run are all about and no one else. It's been quite a season of learning to hold firm to God's promises no matter what tried to make me let go and walk away. God gave me peace and joy during the storm and then at the end He gave me the ultimate letter of confirmation. This recent season was a huge faith season to the point where I truly had to believe the still small voice was His without proof to show those who criticized it. I thank God I went through it but I also thank God it's over. Will it get harder? Oh I'm so sure it will because the calling isn't a game. The Holy Spirit is training us to walk through the valleys of darkness and rescue those who are bound there and hidden behind prison walls. I'll never forget this season. But a new time is coming and it's here actually. This next season I feel like God is going to grow me. My roots will sink deeper and my flowers will bloom.  Change has not been an easy subject for me and I've gone through a lot of that lately...a lot. My fiance and I are helping to lift up a new church band at a local church and we're serving there right now (me vocals and him on the instruments). I've gotten to truly meet some of the church members and the pastors and honestly there's so much genuine love there to the point that I feel like if I'm seeing Jesus and his love face to face. I've never witnessed this and that's sad for me to say but it's true. These people open their home to the least of these and give more than what they have to help others. It's a beautiful sight. Daniel's living arrangements have changed so he lives a little farther and I'm about to start doing my practicum hours at The Family Church with Celebrate Recovery and hopefully with the church therapist. So many new things and new people are coming into my life and it's working for good. I'm staying prayed up and clinging to my morning Bible time because I know that I'm going to need a bigger anchor for the bigger boat that God is giving me.

Fall Semester

It's official. I'm a junior. Today was my first day back at UTPA and I'm honestly psyched to be back. The fall has to be my favorite semester because of the rain, the breezy days, and cloudy skies. If you were from the valley you'd be excited too, it's usually so hot over here y'all. I love my schedule: after going to my abnormal psychology class at 10:35 I don't have to go back to campus until 5 ish. This is the first time I take night courses so I should be coming home around 9. That's new, exiting, and kinda outside my comfort zone but...comfort zones are so overrated (I'm sure God would agree). So I went shopping a few days before and did that whole shabang and got some cute stuff, but my over all greatest achievement would have to be finishing The Old Testament in The Bible. Sunday night I was like, yes my Jesus I finally get to really read about you and I can finally know what's going on (lol). The details bring the big picture to life, you know? So this post is pretty laid back that's how I feel right now. Just wanted to share. Hope yalls first day was awesome!! God bless!

Autumn Cravings And Things

I am officially out of school!...for Thanksgiving break anyway. Exhausted, tired, but still alive and breathing. University life can be stressful at times, especially when exam season and finals come along, but I love it. As corny as it may sound, yesterday in my quiet time with the Lord I began to thank Him for the opportunity that I have to even attend school. Many don't get to further their education. I have been given a beautiful, price-less gift. Of course I've had to work hard to get to where I am, but God opened the doors so that I could walk through victoriously. Often it feels like I'm walking a million miles but the fact that I know that there will be an open door waiting for me when I reach my destination is more than enough to make me wanna keep on movin' forward. This is one of the many things that I'm thankful for. Today I finished up my exam and rushed through traffic to get home. Oh home sweet home. I feel so lazy. I just jumped into bed and started blogging away. Literally here I am in my old high school T-shirt and PJ's. And that's how you know that it's vacation time for me.

Lately, more like forever ago, I've been craving some good soul food: definition being God time, new revelation, encounters, and worship. This kind of hunger can only be quenched by some nice one on one time with my sweet Jesus. There's a scripture that I've been reading for a while now that's really struck a chord in me...definitely one of my favorite Psalms. It's times like these that make me want to lock my door and throw away the key so I can just be, you know? But one thing I do know and that is that my social/public life will be impacted by my intimate/private life. In the quiet we are shaped and in the midst of encounters with our Beloved we are transformed. Many areas of my life have been tottering on the brink of extinction but I like what God has been replacing these areas with. We can either hate change or embrace it with arms and eyes wide open. On Monday, my homework assignment for the Psalmist School I attend was to make song, in Spanish, out of a Psalm and ultimately my heart was won over by the same portion of verses that I just finished telling y'all about. So from David's heart, to my heart, and finally to yours I share with you my

                      

 Psalm of inspiration:

*~*~*

(Psalm 63:1-8) 

O God, you are my God;

I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts 

for you; my whole body longs for you in 

this parched and weary land where there 

is no water. I have seen you in your 

sanctuary and gazed upon your power 

and glory. Your unfailing love is better than 

life itself; how I praise you! I will praise you 

as long as I live, lifting up my hands to you 

in prayer. You satisfy me more than the 

richest feast. I will praise you with songs of 

joy. I lie awake thinking of you, meditating 

on you through the night. Because you 

are my helper, I sing for joy in the shadow 

of your wings. I cling to you; your strong 

right hand holds me securely.

*~*~*

And now...a little tune from my ipod

Journal Excerpt {Halloween}

Sitting on a wooden bench, on the third floor of the Education Building at school, I felt compelled to write. I needed to get my thoughts down on paper, on anything really, but facebook just wouldn't do: I needed something momentarily private, something that I could stare at and meditate on for a good while before my next class. So here's my unedited heart, spilled out onto a single  sheet of notebook paper.

*~*~*

 Think of the person that you love most in this world. Who is she/he? Now picture this scenario: There's a person who's always trying to make your loved one look bad, hurts those that your loved one holds dear. That person invites you to his/her party. Do you go? This is how I view everything—God is my Father, the one who's always been there for me. Why would I celebrate something that's used to hurt His heart? When you don't have a relationship with God everything you see is {rules, religion, more rules...Why this? Why that?} When you have a direct relationship with God the questions and answers no longer matter because you would drop anything in a minute for the one who chose to give it all for you. It doesn't matter what everyone else does. Who cares? Be different and don't be ashamed of it! I choose not to celebrate halloween, not because of the candy or the costumes, but because of what this day represents. While parents send their kids trick-or-treating, there are thousands of people making sacrifices to the devil on this day. I don't know about you, but I'm not gonna give Satan and his followers the satisfaction of knowing that I'm at the party of the one who hates my Best Friend! Tonight is Worship and Movie Night at my house. Amen to that!

Ponderings:

• People want to come as close as they can to the line without crossing it. How far can we get? How much can we get away with before it's labeled as "wrong." Forget the world and fix your eyes on God.
• It doesn't matter how much you are forced to do what's right, because until you encounter the Living God and receive a revelation, everything will seem like a pain transformed into a rule book {Look with your eyes wide open}.

I choose to have this attitude today:

(Joshua 24:14-15) “So fear the Lord and serve him wholeheartedly. Put away forever the idols your ancestors worshiped when they lived beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt. Serve the Lord alone. But if you refuse to serve the Lord, then choose today whom you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates? Or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live? But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.”