The God Who Foreknew

I'm going to speak basically toward myself...if any of this helps anybody that's awesome. If it doesn't and you continue to read this anyway, well...God bless your heart. It's true what the Bible says about how pain will only last for the night because joy will surely come in the morning. Some nights may last days, others may last even more, and then some even less than that. If you want to read one of the saddest of nights right after Jesus...read about Paul. His life after being saved makes my heart literally hurt because I begin to imagine his pain and his struggle, all while remaining faithful to God. God created Saul but then sent Jesus to give birth to Paul. Saul was zealous for the religious cause that fought in God's name, but Paul was in love with Jesus who dared confront him with unstoppable love. God knew Paul because He created him and mapped out his life before it even came to be. God knew the fall Saul would face with the freedom he gave him from the beginning and planned for Jesus to meet him and transform him. Paul had no regrets for his new life because now it had true purpose. I've been really thinking about this, I mean really. Purpose. That's what makes every tear and all uncertainty worth it: the fact that Jesus gave us purpose. Knowing that every detail of our lives matters and isn't just because.

(Romans 8:28) And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 

If I know this scripture then why do I still react contrary to how I should? Usually I tent to worry. A lot actually. I plan out something and when things don't go according to plan I freak out. I feel like things are never going to get done. This whole week God's been showing me this about myself to the point where it's getting so uncomfortable. God's telling me that my worry and frustration has got to go because I'm just wasting time. If I worry then I'm saying to God that my plan was better and I don't trust His to be right for me. I have to remind myself that his timing is best. I get excited and then I get let down because my expectation is set on my way. There's only one way and that's God's way. I share this because being genuine matters to me and even though I can't share everything about myself I do wish to share what God is doing in my life. Our faults are real and they lie naked before God's eyes so we might as well let Him confront us with them in love. God allows me to be in situations where things change and I can honestly feel Him looking down on me and waiting to see how I'll react. I choose to let "it" go. 

(Romans 8:29) For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.

God knows me and He knows you. The measure of how much our hearts can take before they burst is evident to Him and the one who is greater than our hearts never slumbers. This is simple but true: God will not allow us to walk through anything that we can't overcome without His help. Trust me, I've been though some heart-wrenching stuff yet my heart is still beating. It might feel like it's going to give out but my God won't let it because purpose is on the line here. There is a purpose for what we're going through today. Today's details are working for tomorrow. God planned it this way. He planned to bring us back, knowing that we couldn't live without our creator. We can't escape our true roots and those are heavenly not earthly. Addiction we can break, fears we can escape, and other bondage we can shake because Jesus paid. He paid to return to us our identity. God foreknew it...all of it. 

(Romans 8:30) And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

In Pursuit of True Love

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An unending love I seek.

A beloved with whom my heart can beat.

To feel complete.

To overflow.

An unending true love I seek.

That which this world can not offer.

For that I hunger.

I ran and ran to look for love.

I searched and searched with no one to hug.

I was tossed around by the wind.

Then suddenly I fell into true loves first kiss.

Heaven and earth once again met.

Outstretched arms held me tight.

I lifted up my eyes.

My best friend.

My lover. My prince. 

All in one.

I will pursue Him with all my love.

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(Hosea 2:14) 

“Therefore I am now going to allure her; 

I will lead her into the wilderness 

and speak tenderly to her.

(Hosea 2:16)

“In that day,” declares the Lord,
    “you will call me ‘my husband’;
    you will no longer call me ‘my master.

(Hosea 2:19-20)

I will betroth you to me forever;
    I will betroth you in righteousness 

and justice, in love and compassion.
 I will betroth you in faithfulness,
    and you will acknowledge the Lord.

 I'm browsing through my Itunes and listening to some songs by Bethel, Eunice Rodriguez, and United Pursuit. Busy busy but a good break does the heart some good. I've been thinking...

True Love. I want this so bad. Whether God has someone in the future for me or not I hit a place in my heart where I just said, Lord I'm going to love you regardless, I'm going to worship you regardless. When we're called to God's purposes all of the crazy, messy, beautiful, and just plain odd things will come together in the end for our good. His word says it so I believe it. I've seen it before so why would any other case be different? I'm in the pursuit of true love. I want to constantly keep the fire burning in my heart so that the joy of my salvation never fades. And trust, things have tried to burn out my handy dandy candle. What The Lord has been placing in my heart is that He is my husband. This really hit me hard. For so long I wanted someone to touch when all this time that special someone was walking right beside me. I'm married. Bam! Right? It was like He was saying: Be faithful to me, I'm your best friend, be a friend back because it's my utmost desire to be with you. My love life???...hmmm...I want God to be my love life right now. I want the well and I need the well right now, not a bucket. I'm in pursuit of true love and the definition of love is my sweet Jesus. He's The One I need right now. Some days these words resonate while other days my heart aches because of what my heart wants but in that wilderness, in that visible solitude God is at work. The moment we feed our Spirit Man He takes over and our heart is at peace and the way we perceive our surroundings changes. I pray for a mind renewal in the wildernesses of our lives and for true love to come forth. That's a good place to start, falling in love with The Lord. And if we're already head over heals in love, let's go further and deeper. There's no end. There's always more we can give and there's always more we can be given.



"The wilderness will contain our greatest difficulties,
but also some of our most glorious experiences."

                                                                                                      

                                                                                               -Rick Joyner 

Dreams {I Lay Them At Your Feet}

I've received God's word for me this year and suddenly all these dreams have been born in me. Desires that I am surrendering to God and praying for. One of my dreams, that I just can't shake off because I have been asking the Holy Spirit to reveal to me the desires of my Father's heart for me, is attending the "Bethel School of Worship". It's like I shake that dream loose and then, like a boomerang, it just keeps flying back to me through other blogs, articles, songs, and random sorts of events. The truth is, we can't run from what God has called us to do and in this case, trust, I would love nothing more than to jump on a plane and fly off to Redding, California. But... the Lord's timing is perfect. In the mean time my preparation continues. My Spring Semester starts on Monday and Psalmist School two weeks after. I'm soaking up everything I can and making the most of every teaching that The Holy Spirit is providing me with. It's amazing though, how God keeps confirming my dream. Yesterday, a woman from the financial-aide office called me in the morning to tell me that after checking my fafsa she thought their might be some errors that I could fix so that I could be given a Pell Grant in addition to the grants that I already have. You see, ever since I started attending the University I never had to pay anything out of pocket, my God has opened every door and has overflowed His blessings on me by leaving me with ridiculously surprising amounts of refunds. I call it our love relationship: I give Him the glory and He makes a way for me. Well...being notified of this blessing of course my heart became too full of thanks to handle because, "there we go" I thought, more confirmation. I was saying a few days back about attending BSW, "God, this is expensive for me and I don't have this kind of cash lying around." Bam! He answered me. It's like He's always telling me, "Deya, what more do you need? What more can I do for you?" And I'm like, "No, no, God...What can I do for You?" I'm going to continue to save up and set an amount of money aside for whatever the Lord has in mind for me. God has an amazing way of doing things a gagillion times infinity times better than me, but since I'm a planner at heart (it comes from Him, I know it) I'll share my plans.

• I plan to continue faithfully leading worship at church when University life is not all too hectic. 
• I plan to enter my rehab program and rock that to bring glory to my God.
• I plan to Graduate from Levi School of Psalmists (Levi Escuela de Salmistas), completing my six semesters in December 2013!!!
• And...I plan to apply and God willing attend Bethel Scchool of Worship in the Summer of 2014.

Even to me, as I re-read these little bullets I think, "Dang, that's so far away!" But, I truly know that God will guide me and keep preparing me. If He told me to begin reading the bible from beginning to end in the beginning of 2012 and it is now 2013 then time will continue to go by in the blink of an eye. God's timing has always been perfect and I see now how he's worked everything out. Getting into the word of God sparked by hunger, the 21 day fast led to breaking unhealthy chains and getting healthy by seeing a naturopathic doctor, I mean God holds everything in His hand. I even think, how could I have hike me some mountains in California if God wouldn't have pushed me to change and to start getting healthy. ALL things work together for our good. I'm going to enjoy the now so that even when the later comes my past and present will have warm greetings when embracing my future. So...let God's amazing plans begin. My prayers start now. Anyone who wants to pray for this with me, please feel more than welcome because it is so deeply appreciated.

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(Psalm 37:4-5) Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give 

thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the Lord; 

trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. KJV

(Psalm 32:8) I will instruct you and teach you in the way you 

should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you. NIV

New Season {Daniel Fast}

So many little and big things are changing all at once. Do you ever have any of those moments in your life when the ordinary just isn't the same? You're being drawn in deeper and deeper and deeper into something that you can't even imagine. It's about that time around here in my life and all I can do is seek God's plans and tune into His comforting voice. Exactly four days ago, on Monday, I felt God just snap His finger. I could clearly hear with my heart God saying, "It's time for a new season...get ready." If words could express my every emotion pages and pages would cover the face of the earth. I know, I know, a little too dramatic but in all sincerity I know, that I know, that God is getting ready to surprise me again and this time  my hands are going to be to small to sustain such a blessing and my cup won't even stand a chance against God's loving out pour. When these moments come we have two choices: either embrace them with open arms or run away and miss out on God's purpose. I choose the first one. 

So again, four days ago I began the Daniel fast, just seeking God's perfect direction. It's almost like I reached that crossroad and realized that taking another step is useless without God's sweet, sweet presence and guidance. I've dealt with being stripped of all that I held near and dear but this, this is different: I'm looking for true worship and communion that no human can ever take away. A beautiful relationship. I want more and more of God each day, hour, and second. So far, the fast has been going great because I feel the Lord's strength, otherwise this would not be possible. These past four days I have embraced fruits and veggies and now call them friends. Thank God for our local Farmers market and my 1.5 liter water bottle is not too shabby either. The plan is to do a 21 day fast with prayer and word as my true food source. Some might view a fast as torturous, I know I used to. I would bring up any emotion or medical excuse to why this was illogical (apparently I thought myself more brilliant than God at 13). Ever since I fell in love with Jesus all my inhibitions and doubts went down the toilet because I would follow Him with eyes wide open anywhere. The truth opens your eyes, it does not bind you and blind you more and more. Why would the devil want the children of God to fast and pray? The result is excuse after excuse. But in all honesty when God calls us to do something He provides us with the strength to overcome all obstacles. I'm a full-time student and still have the energy to walk to and fro from my classes and then exercise every night. I give all the glory to God for this. Medically this is impossible but with God all things are possible. I don't care what the world frowns upon because I am not of this world. Because we are here for a purpose we have to strengthen and feed our "spirit man" so that we have the faith and conviction needed to move mountains, love one another, forgive, and rejoice. It's possible my friends and if God is tugging at your heartstrings then fall into His arms with eyes wide open. I just wanted to share with you all a little of what's been going on in my personal life. Hopefully this'll inspire somebody out there to know, I mean really know, that we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us.

(Daniel 1:17) God gave these four young men an unusual aptitude for understanding every aspect of literature and wisdom. And God gave Daniel the special ability to interpret the meanings of visions and dreams.