Focus On The Promise Through The Journey

Sometimes, when we've been walking through our journey for so long we can end up losing the focus of our actual destination. God gives us a promise, but when more time than we were expecting passes, it becomes harder to see "it". We question, we cry out, we even lose hope for a sec., but we never give up. I've always had a saying ever since I gave my life over to Jesus and encountered Him: There's no turning back anymore no matter what, no matter how hard it gets my only option is to move forward.

"If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward."  -Martin Luther King Jr.

God never said the journey of this life would be easy, but he did say that the arrival would be worth it! -Max Lucado

I've been asking God the same question over and over and over again for quite some time (years) and today I was just stopped by Him. He reminded me of a prayer I made when I was 15 years old and how He answered the beginning of it during that time. To me the little sign I asked God for at the end of my prayer was just a quirky inside joke between me and God, but he answered it. I joke with what I ask and He jokes by responding super quick. You see, the problem is that I expected that my whole prayer list would be answered and packaged up to be delivered to me all at once, but God's ways were different. He said it would be given to me but He didn't say when or how. My journey to the promise has been a rough one, I can't deny it, but I have come out a stronger woman who God intends to make stronger.

One Winter day during the Festival of Dedication, Jesus was confronted by the Jews who were also walking along in the temple courts. They surrounded Jesus and asked him "how long" he planned on keeping them "in suspense" and to just tell them "plainly" if he was the Messiah. While I was reading this story this morning in John 10:22-30 I knew without a doubt in my mind that God was talking to me. I had been crying out asking God to please just speak to me in such an obvious way because I couldn't get it, but He said to me that He already answered my question many times but I just wasn't seeing what He wanted me to see. I just wasn't getting it. When I started my walk toward the promise I was so sure, but then things got so scary bad that I let my gaze become foggy. I felt frustrated like those Jews did (of course I wasn't going to stone my Savior but I let anger and confusion get the best of me) because though they had heard the promise of Jesus' coming written in scripture, they let their gaze become foggy by what was said to them:the scriptures said that a Messiah was coming in a humble manner but it didn't say his name or the fact that he was going to be a carpenter's son.  The promise was delivered to them in different circumstances than they had expected in their hearts so they closed up their hearts and refused to see that God was living among them. The signs and wonders made it obvious but to believe meant that they had to be closer to faith and farther from their expectations. I knew that I couldn't take my anger and frustration out on my God, so instead...I took it out on the promise. That's a big no,no. I was so busy comparing my walk to others and asking God why others were happy with their promise fulfilled while mine seemed to be getting crazier and even more unpredictable. The thing is: God is not a cookie-cutter God, so He created individual people with individual stories. It's easy to buy into a one-for-all solution but that's just not true. We have to seek God's counsel directly from Him and then wait for His confirmation (through His word, dreams, people...etc). This whole week my seeking an answer for my question really escalated, and I see now as I write this that God has been answering me. Every morning with what I've been reading in the Word He's been answering me. It all connects. How God showed me in the Book of Genesis that he had to open Hagar's eyes to see the well of water so that she wouldn't let hopelessness in the middle of the dessert kill her and her son Ishmael, how God protected and cared for Ishmael as his only Father after he was rejected and sent away as God's plan to create him into a strong nation, and also how God looked into the heart of Rebekah and predestined her to be the wife that would say yes to an unpredictable marriage to Abraham's son Isaac. God spoke to me in detail about these stories all week long and finally I understand. Jesus was obviously the Messiah and my answer has been obviously staring me in the face for years. Jesus' answer to the Jews in the temple was this:

(John 10:27-30) My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father's hand. I and the Father are one."

I am so sure of my salvation in Jesus and that He abides in me and I in Him by His grace alone, therefore my ear is in tune to what He's saying. The devil sometimes wants to make us doubt that, actually, the enemy always wants to make us doubt that because His mission is to kill, steal, and destroy us. I truly believe that Jesus wasn't just answering the Jew's questions...He was making a bold statement and letting the devil know that what belonged to the king of kings could not be taken from Him even by the thieve of thieves. We belong to Jesus and the devil has no right to touch us and our God who is greater can not be over-powered. I realized that the reason that I haven't responded to the many voices around me for years telling me to go this way and that way is because I've been fleeing from the other. I was once told a great truth: the devil takes no breaks and shows no mercy. He will use whatever he wants to use in order to kill you because your purpose threatens him. That goes for all of us. The enemy has tried to make me believe that I'm crazy for not listening to who I "should" listen to, dumb for "failing" those who I shouldn't, or just plain disobedient and worthy of receiving God's punishment when that is not true. Because the people around me have also seen the dessert that I have walked through with my promise in hand, they give advice out of hopelessness when I have been called to walk by the amount of faith that God has given to me. My walk is mine, entrusted to me by God and nobody will ever confuse me enough to snatch it from me. I am to complete my mission until I see the fulfillment of what God has promised me. I encourage everybody who reads this...stand strong and firm in the faith. Keep pressing forward with your eyes focused on the promise as you walk this life-long journey. May faith arise and I pray that hope sustain us through.

The Process: Loving People & Giving Your Life in Prayer

At one point along our spiritual journey we will all come face to face with the realization of what love really means. I'm talking about moving in God's powerful, transforming, and sin-covering love. Whether someone in your family hurts you, your best friend betrays you, your brother and sister's in Christ speak falsely against you the reality is we're in a hurting world that is crying out for the real children of God to rise up and take their place. The children of God that forgive seven times seventy times, that speak life, that pursue holiness, that move in the spirit, that walk in faith, that promote true peace, that go forth in spiritual warfare, that pray without ceasing, and that love. And that love. And that love. And that love! The sooner we realize that the moment we decide to follow Jesus we're all automatically walking as a work in progress along the narrow road, the sooner we can receive grace and give it to other's. Because we are all like clay jars in the hands of the potter, being perfected in Christ until Jesus returns for us, His bride. All of us. I've struggled with this and I've seen other children of God battle with this type of attitude: Well at least now we're on the road you know so we're ok. No. Oh, no. I was so wrong thinking this. We are all being perfected and whether we'd like to suppress the fact or not, we all have a plank in our eye that still needs to be removed before we can take care of our brother's or sister's plank. God is becoming strong in our weaknesses day by day as we're seeking Him so as we walk forth lets encourage one other, rebuke in love, forgive, and move forward. I'm going through something so difficult right now that if you were to have told me growing up what was to come I would have fled in fear. I can trust God with my life's picture now. I can trust God with the people I love and know that even though I thought my plan was beautiful for them God's is spectacular and full of glory. There's a scripture that the Holy Spirit has been bringing to me through this rough time and it is...

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(Luke 6:31) Do to others as you would have them do to you.

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This verse has been becoming flesh in me. Forgive as you would like to be forgiven. Love as you would like to be loved. Encourage as you would like to be encouraged. Live the life that you would like to see others live in Christ. These are true words but accomplishing them  is easier said than done. The only way that I can explain to you how I'm doing this is by telling you that through my process I've faced situations where I know I should forgive but couldn't so I prayed and literally cried out with all my heart for God to do in me what I couldn't and I've failed miserably sometimes. But as time has past and I've matured in faith doing the impossible has become possible because the one who makes things possible is invading my heart and emotions more and more. Simple truths of maturing in Christ are prayer, fasting, and filling ourselves with God's Word. The gospel. Jesus. As you walk more and more you won't have to ask WWJD because His Word will slowly become flesh the more you read, fast, pray, and apply. 

There's one well known fact that we have all come to know and if you haven't trust, you will know: When we face hard times we come to know who our true friends are. I'm here to tell you that when you go through trials or you or someone you love stumbles you will realize who's a mature christian, who's not, and who never was.  Those that rebuke you in love and stand by your side by breathing Christ's redemptive power and loving grace into your life I would define as mature christians because though they too are walking in the process, the Spirit of God is at work in them revealing to them Christ-like character that is visible. The proof is in the fruit. I've been doing some things that are completely out of my character and human nature that I can only accredit to Jesus in me. I don't feel rejected and betrayed when everything in this world says I should. My culture says one thing but God's culture is above it all. I've talked to people who I thought I'd never talk to. I'm stepping into places I never in a million years thought I'd step into. And I feel peace when I really shouldn't. I really shouldn't. It isn't normal. It's God. Only God could do this!

Continual prayer has sustained me, I know. Talking to God when I wake, as I shower, in the car, between meals and classes, before bed, and during the night when I wake up and feel my spirit itching to be fed. Right now I'm battling for my best friend, praying that God's will be done in his life no matter what that looks like in God's eyes. In my eyes that picture should be so scary right now but any moment I begin to worry or he comes to my mind or I look up and see our bracelet I just pray. I don't want to block what God is doing so I pray for God's will to be done, for repentance and for a miracle. I can see that these months that I've spent specifically praying for him have been crucial because God is rearranging things not the way I wanted or would have planned but the way He knows is best. I'm thankful to have another friend who has gone through what I'm going through and is in prayer agreement with me and lifting me up and pouring out grace. I'm thankful for blessings in the middle of chaos and for love and forgiveness. My desire is to really reflect Jesus through this and while others abandon ship, I want to stand at the forefront. Even if someone doesn't know how to return love...just love like Jesus. I woke up reading The Word and the same part of a verse kept being confirmed during my morning. I'm taking a hold of it and battling through this. I encourage you today with Luke 18:1 that tells us that we should "always pray and not give up." Jesus said this. Don't give up! If an unbelieving cruel judge can be swayed by a persistent widow, will not our heavenly Father hear our prayers if Jesus made a way for us? He hears. Keep praying and let His picture be revealed in His timing. Don't lose heart. God bless and much love in Christ!

His Rain Falls When We Prepare Our Hearts

 I want to talk about those times when we lead or participate in a praise and worship service in which we feel that God's presence just didn't move. We compare one service to another or one season to another and find ourselves playing the blame game: Yup it was that out of tune guitar, those loud drums, the tired vocalists, and definitely those new songs. It's easy sometimes for us to concoct some crazy-wild explanation for something so simple. I've even found myself saying, "Lord, why? These people needed You to show up...I was dying for You to show up." I don't know if any of you can relate but this is a horrible feeling. You come home and think that you just wasted your time and even worse that you just wasted God's time and probably made Him tear up a bit from how awful that whole service turned out. I've been there and it's because I've been there that I've sought out my Lord's council. I love how he speaks into my heart so clearly. There are specific moments when I've just felt God laugh and I'm pretty sure when I've talked to Him about these things He's been just balling out, shaking His head, ready to just cradle me because the answer is so simple.

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(Song of Solomon 1:6) 

Do not stare at me because I am dark,

    because I am darkened by the sun.

My mother’s sons were angry with me

    and made me take care of the vineyards;

    my own vineyard I had to neglect.

(Song of Solomon 2:10)

My beloved spoke and said to me,
    “Arise, my darling,
    my beautiful one, come with me.

*~*~*

What The Lord revealed to me was that we, His children, are the ones who carry His presence and He confirmed this with His Word that says that we are the Temple of The Holy Spirit, His church. We're suppose to be putting the "C', "H", "U", "R", "C", "H" in "church". The only way to do this is through our relationship with God. He is always able to move but we also have the calling to release what He has freely given us. His Spirit is waiting to be releases but if we don't feed our spirit's how can we accomplish this? It's about talking to our Father because His Holy Spirit is with us and longs to be upon all of us, it's about getting into His Word for a fresh and new revelation, and it's about intimate prayer and worship behind closed doors when no one is looking. God is tired of His unfaithful bride who is ravished by many lovers. In Jeremiah 3 The Lord tells His people that "the showers have been withheld, and no spring rains have fallen" because of their unfaithfulness. God uses the words prostitution and unfaithfulness to describe our desire to seek another's council and even our own;He refers to anything that occupies the first place in our hearts. 

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(Jeremiah 2:13)

“My people have committed two sins:
They have forsaken me,
    the spring of living water,
and have dug their own cisterns,
    broken cisterns that cannot hold water.

*~*~*

Do we not do this today? We lean on our own past understanding and at some point stop overflowing because we've traded fountains. We think we can survive with what we know but those moments are when we need The Lord the most. Only He can see a heart naked as it is. When He says He wants a worshiper in spirit and in truth, this is what He's referring to. He longs for His worshiper to lay beside Him and hear His heartbeat and the only way for us to do this is to cultivate that relationship. Sometimes we reach moments where we hide our faces from The Lord and sink back. He's calling out. Talk to Him. He just wants to talk to us. He just wants to love us. Our wells can't hold water but His can. He doesn't want us to struggle or get frustrated anymore. When you prepare your heart's garden He will walk in and spend time with you. Because you know Him He will listen and because He knows You His Spirit will be upon you ready to be released.

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(Psalm 132:7-8)

“Let us go to his dwelling place,
    let us worship at his footstool, saying,
 ‘Arise, Lord, and come to your resting place,
    you and the ark of your might.

//We are that resting place that 

The Holy Spirit longs to dwell in.//

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 "Learn to steward God's presence in stillness, not just in corporate worship." 

                                                                                           

                                                                                            —Steffany Gretzinger

When we do this through intimate time with The Lord our services and corporate gatherings will be in continuous overflow. His signs and wonders will be there. The fullness of His Spirit is the key and that key can only be given to us through spirit taught knowledge that comes from the secret place. My secret place sometimes looks like a locked room with soft Bethel or Ihop music playing in the background, or a locked bathroom with me kneeling at the foot of the tub, a car ride, or gardening time outside. The one thing that all these locations have in common is that I am alone with God in order to seek Him. You don't need anything fancy just a place where you can cultivate that relationship with God behind closed doors so that when you do life in the open you will be walking in the fullness of His Spirit and that rain will fall no matter where you find yourself.

A Season Of Seeking Out The Hidden Things

When we find ourselves secluded theses are the seasons where one on one with The Holy Spirit we grow and mature. There is always a lesson to be taught and learned. I find myself in this season right now and The Lord is who He says He is. Faithful and true, holding my hand and walking me through. After some adjustments in my life The Lord revealed to my heart and placed this scenario before me: "There is a bus that is taking you and others to the next season and you got on early. Better to be the first one on than the last because the last ones to get on I had to push and force so they come hurt, scared, and confused. This is a season of seeking out the hidden things." I've been hearing this in my Spirit and then came God's word to confirm His spirit taught words to me:

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(Isaiah 26:20) 

Go, my people, enter your rooms 

and shut the doors behind you; 

hide yourselves for a little while 

until his wrath has passed by.

(Isaiah 45:3) 

I will give you hidden treasures, 

riches stored in secret places, 

so that you may know that 

I am the Lord, the God of Israel, 

who summons you by name.

(Isaiah 48:6-7) 

You have heard these things; 

look at them all. Will you not admit them? 

“From now on I will tell you of new things, 

of hidden things unknown to you. 

They are created now, and not long ago; 

you have not heard of them 

before today. So you cannot say, 

‘Yes, I knew of them.’ 

*~*~*

I've been what feels like the last one on the bus and it is not pretty...it hurts. I thought my wounds were going to kill me but my Lord healed me and only the scars remain. I never understood the scripture that reads that God wounded us but now He would heal us until I encountered these seasons. God raises a banner and calls out to us but sometimes we hesitate for too long and enter a zone of false comfortability. And then He is forced to drag us because He loves us and can not sit there and watch us miss the prepared table that He has set before us. The confusion and pain won't last forever because our God is faithful and will bind our wounds and wipe our tears. There is rest in knowing who we are in Christ and what God wants us to really do. We will never be able to fit a man-made mold. That yoke is too heavy and only brings us neverending burdens. They are burdens disguised as servanthood obedience and kingdom obligations but God will not permit His loved ones to be fooled. 

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(Psalm 127:1-2) 

Unless the Lord builds the house,

    the builders labor in vain.

Unless the Lord watches over the city,

    the guards stand watch in vain.

2 

In vain you rise early and stay up late,

toiling for food to eat—

    for he grants sleep to those he loves.

*~*~*

Just two Sundays ago I had this vision during the service while the team and I were worshiping in song and what I saw was a beautiful treasure box. I felt my Lord's excitement. He wanted His people to open it. He desired for us to open it. I say "us" because He longs for all of His children to want more of Him. To be curious and child-like in our Daddy's spiritual matters. This makes Him happy. The treasures of our Father's heart are found through communion and relationship with prayer, worship, and reading scripture in spirit and in truth. 

There are things that I've had to step away from because God is dealing in His way with those things and desires to keep me on His track. Those "things" in the natural seem good and should have God's stamp of approval because they are ministry related and done in His name but God's ways are higher and so much sweeter. Can anybody say amen?! Some people won't agree but that's OK, the murmurs just have to roll off your back. In the secret place with The Lord and with the support of those around you who can truly perceive the move of God this period of time will bring a new revelation of who God says you are. In this season, unlike other past seasons, it was easy for me to let go and move with the Spirit of God because I know He's going to teach me something good. I've tasted this very fruit in the past and I've seen God's goodness and the joy that overflows from His dwelling place.

On another note, My Summer II Mexican American Lit class officially starts tomorrow and I couldn't be any more excited. My best friend is also teaching me to play piano, something a few seasons past I thought would be impossible. My excuse was that I'm not a good multi-tasker but God just laughs at my excuses and hugs me before sending me on my way. I've been reading through The Bible so much to the point where it's been a day long thing sometimes. I know I won't always have that kind of time so this season is so important to and for me. It's a step back in order to step in. A hungry heart The Lord cannot resist and that's my purpose in this time...to love on my God and to rest in the fact that my Beloved's desire is for me.

New Season {Daniel Fast}

So many little and big things are changing all at once. Do you ever have any of those moments in your life when the ordinary just isn't the same? You're being drawn in deeper and deeper and deeper into something that you can't even imagine. It's about that time around here in my life and all I can do is seek God's plans and tune into His comforting voice. Exactly four days ago, on Monday, I felt God just snap His finger. I could clearly hear with my heart God saying, "It's time for a new season...get ready." If words could express my every emotion pages and pages would cover the face of the earth. I know, I know, a little too dramatic but in all sincerity I know, that I know, that God is getting ready to surprise me again and this time  my hands are going to be to small to sustain such a blessing and my cup won't even stand a chance against God's loving out pour. When these moments come we have two choices: either embrace them with open arms or run away and miss out on God's purpose. I choose the first one. 

So again, four days ago I began the Daniel fast, just seeking God's perfect direction. It's almost like I reached that crossroad and realized that taking another step is useless without God's sweet, sweet presence and guidance. I've dealt with being stripped of all that I held near and dear but this, this is different: I'm looking for true worship and communion that no human can ever take away. A beautiful relationship. I want more and more of God each day, hour, and second. So far, the fast has been going great because I feel the Lord's strength, otherwise this would not be possible. These past four days I have embraced fruits and veggies and now call them friends. Thank God for our local Farmers market and my 1.5 liter water bottle is not too shabby either. The plan is to do a 21 day fast with prayer and word as my true food source. Some might view a fast as torturous, I know I used to. I would bring up any emotion or medical excuse to why this was illogical (apparently I thought myself more brilliant than God at 13). Ever since I fell in love with Jesus all my inhibitions and doubts went down the toilet because I would follow Him with eyes wide open anywhere. The truth opens your eyes, it does not bind you and blind you more and more. Why would the devil want the children of God to fast and pray? The result is excuse after excuse. But in all honesty when God calls us to do something He provides us with the strength to overcome all obstacles. I'm a full-time student and still have the energy to walk to and fro from my classes and then exercise every night. I give all the glory to God for this. Medically this is impossible but with God all things are possible. I don't care what the world frowns upon because I am not of this world. Because we are here for a purpose we have to strengthen and feed our "spirit man" so that we have the faith and conviction needed to move mountains, love one another, forgive, and rejoice. It's possible my friends and if God is tugging at your heartstrings then fall into His arms with eyes wide open. I just wanted to share with you all a little of what's been going on in my personal life. Hopefully this'll inspire somebody out there to know, I mean really know, that we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us.

(Daniel 1:17) God gave these four young men an unusual aptitude for understanding every aspect of literature and wisdom. And God gave Daniel the special ability to interpret the meanings of visions and dreams.