Seeking God & Journaling This Morning

I woke up around 7:00 AM this morning as I usually do to take my puppy Cody outside. I usually wake up even early so needless to say, great morning. I made my self some Nopalitos (cactus) and egg, prayed, and then went back upstairs to my room. I grabbed a hold of my Bible and as always, asked the Lord for what He wanted to share with me today. As I began to read I couldn't help myself...I had to go for my journal. After I did some writing and meditating I was so fired up that I knew I had to share my journal entry with y'all. So here it is, just as I wrote it. The Holy Spirit was just pouring out the Father's desires on my heart all morning. Freedom is a beautiful gift that comes with great responsibility.

God, through salvation in Jesus Christ, has given me [FREEDOM]: 

The state of no longer being imprisoned or enslaved to receive 

the power and right to act, speak, or think as I want without hindrance or restraint.

But God says: Let me show you what to do with my freedom that is now yours. 

I am completely paraphrasing what the Lord showed me this morning in 

(1 Corinthians 10:23-24).

Don't seek what's good for you, but instead, 

go after what's good for others. 

Even though I have given you the right to do anything, 

not everything is beneficial nor constructive. 

Not everything makes personal and social 

well-being possible to result in good. 

Not everything promotes improvement 

and development in order to build up.

Follow me on Instagram @deyacavazos13

Embracing The Unexpected

 

I haven't written anything in a long while but life has continued and I know it's the perfect time to return. I've missed this. The whole morning and hours to follow I could feel my Lord calling me to approach Him, to spend time with Him, to soak up His presence. Last night I grabbed a hold of my Bible, ran downstairs with Cody (our new puppy), found my pencil pouch that contains my highlighter and pen collection, and finally got to sit down on the living room couch. As I hugged my Bible tightly, I said a quick prayer (too excited and expectant I guess) and asked the Lord to speak whatever He wanted me to know. Without even thinking about it, the Holy Spirit brought to me one name: Joseph. I was like, huh? And again I felt it in my spirit. By then I was already flipping through pages and finding my way to the first chapter in the Book of Matthew. There I began to read about Joseph. 

This young man who loved God so much fell in love one day with a young God-fearing woman named Mary. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her so he asked for her hand in marriage and the pledge was made and they were happily married. Before they even got to come together as newlyweds, Joseph discovered that Mary was pregnant. I can only imagine the heart-ache, fear, and anger that was eating him alive. He loved Mary so much that He was even willing to divorce her secretly so that they both wouldn't have to suffer public humiliation and ultimately so that she would not be stoned to death. What Mary alledged was proposterous because it had never happened before...someone being impregnated by the Holy Spirit. Joseph's world was crumbling down and he thought Mary was crazy. Right when he was thinking about backing out he had a dream, a God moment, that changed everything. God's message to Joseph was to "not be afraid to take Mary home as [his] wife, because what [was] conceived in her [was] from the Holy Spirit." God was telling Joseph to not abort his God-given assignment because this blessing in disguise was going to change the world. 

God clearly spoke to me and said, Deya, do not be afraid to accept the challenge, this blessing in disguise, that I am giving you just because it doesn't look like what you envisioned. Because just like verse 22 reads: "all this (the public humiliation, doubt, and heart-ache) [is taking] place to fulfill what I the Lord [have] said." There have been things that we as God's children will have to face, challenging and hurtful, that are not meant to hurt us. These things are meant to give us a hope and a future. For me it's my relationship and my family but for you it might be something else. The love is there but times are tough and the enemy does not give the past any rest. Don't you dare give up (I am definitely preaching to myself here). What will come out of this hard thing is a blessing beyond measure. If you know God has spoken something to you and He has confirmed it then keep moving forward with your eyes fixed on Jesus, knowing that you are carrying something or someone that is near and dear to God. It's important. It won't always be easy and we might stumble but God is with us. God is with us!

(Psalm 73:26) 

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

I Promise. Don't Look Back Anymore.

 Me: But Lord what about—?

God: Shh shh...

Me: But God I don't get—?

God: Shh... It's ok. I get it.

Me: So how is this gonna work out?

God: It just will. Just love me.

Me: God I do love you...but it's so confusing!!!

God: I'm not confusing beloved...I'm what you need. I'm what you've always needed, really.

Me: You are God. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I've let my questions come between us. Forgive me.

Jesus: I already did baby 2,000 years ago. I took care of your doubts, insecurities, and rebellions. Be free!

Me: Aww, my sweet Jesus please don't even start with that because you know I'm gonna start balling out. I love you! I love you! I love you!!!

Jesus: I love you more! I promise. Everything will come together so beautifully. We've planned it since before your birth in the secret place when you laughed and sang with us. We looked at you, smiled and wrote with true love in mind. You don't remember those things but it's all been taken care of. Don't look back anymore.

Holy Spirit: Didn't I tell you that you were dearly loved? Girl, we're crazy about you! Face it. Your heart is ours and we aren't letting go. We love you! Just remember who loved you first.

Me: I feel better. You guys always know how to make me feel better. The truth is, what's behind me is both good and bad so I find myself thinking about the good things. But then I think about the fact that You said in Your word not to look back and desire to return to the good old days. Lord I want to go from glory to glory. Why? Why do I sometimes feel like what's behind and past is as good as it's gonna get? How do I tackle that Lord?

Holy Spirit: The Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Keep feeding your spirit the way you have and every doubt and fear will flee. If you find yourself traveling back in your thoughts: Stop, think about my love, declare what I've promised you. Talk to me. When you're silent because you feel overwhelmed just talk to me. We've got this battle won. I know this world tries to pull you away from trusting me but don't let it! Remember I love you. Never forget. How can you, right? I will always keep reminding you.

Me: My heart is Yours. Lead the way...Oh, wait! Can we have breakfast first?

Holy Spirit: Oh yeah you eat! Sure let's go!

Me: Ha! I love you...

*~*~*

(Luke 1:37) 

"For no word from God will ever fail.”

(Luke 1:45) 

"Blessed is she who has believed that 

the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!”

*~*~*

The Beginning Of True Worship: A Circumsized Heart

My Bible reading time is getting so good. I'm so close to The New Testament that I can taste it but the journey has been astonishing, slow paced but full of meditation. As I read through the books of Jeremiah and Ezekiel there was one similar focal point that I tuned into: God was telling these anointed men that what He most desired was the heart. The Lord went on to pour out prophecies about how He planned to recapture Israel's hearts, how He desired for His people to circumcise their hearts. God gave them so many literal examples and symbols for what true worship really was but they (with an exception of a few) never got it. The prophet Samuel understood this when he reprimanded King Saul for choosing sacrifices over obedience. David got it when he sang in one of his Psalms about how he finally realized that The Lord takes no pleasure in sacrifices and offerings, but instead, delights in a broken and contrite heart. For a while God used these literal expressions as a shadow of the true meaning of the beginnings of worship. Before anything else, God desires to have our hearts in His hand, because to give someone your heart is to give them all of you. Change came and God was behind this transformation, ready to reveal to all that what He was trying to do this whole time was win over their hearts. The few men that understood this did life with God: walked with Him daily, invited The Lord to be where they were, and followed The Lord wherever He wanted them to go. It's so easy to recognize a move of God when you spend intimate and public time with God. In your secret place as well as the grocery store, church, between classes, at work, and during lunch conversations. This is a picture of what doing life with God is and it all begins with a rendered, devoted, circumcised heart. You see, a circumcision removes the natural protective covering and what God was saying was this: for a while guys I asked you to circumcise your children because I was giving you a picture of what I really wanted and that was for that wall in your heart that you use to keep me out to be removed so that I could come in. God wants to come in to our hearts and dwell there. Worship first involves us giving our hearts over so that His Spirit may dwell there. When Jesus came He later gave the next revelation and that was this: guys, the temple was a symbol for a long time but now I've been sent by my Father to tell you that when I leave His Spirit will now not just be with you and in you...now He's gonna be upon you because your bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit. The Lord tells us in The Book of Daniel that God is the revealer of mysteries and that He is.

*~*~*

(Ezekiel 11:19-20) I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh. Then they will follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. They will be my people, and I will be their God.

*~*~*

My favorite example so far in The Old Testament of what a circumcised heart looks like would have to be in the life story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego when they're put on the spot and about to be thrown into a burning furnace because they refused to worship anybody/anything else but their God. I mean, I felt empowered as I was reading this.

*~*~*

(Daniel 3:17-18) "If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.” 

*~*~*

God loves and honors that heart that has let Him completely come in to the point of living a life that screams: My God is the living God and He can do anything for me but even if things don't work out the way I envision I will still love Him and keep my heart open to Him. God just can't resist this genuine heart because we were all created the same fierce and bold potential to love. This is the beginning of true worship that is born from doing life with God.

What I've Been Up To: Past & Present

It's one of those days. Indecisive skies, one minute cloudy with signs of rain and the next too sunny to handle. That's the Valley for ya! Today was my last day of summer school so I bid farewell to Mexico's Contemporary Lit. and all of it's fascinating Novelas. I want to share a blog post that I planned on sharing weeks ago but I just couldn't find the right time or moment. It'll help make more sense of what I want to get at.

{Excerpt} ///The past two weeks have been interesting. Let's just say they involved one can of beach glass paint, a few trips to Lowes, long nights spent with my best friend in the world, my sister hiding in my closet on the only patch of carpet left, the living room turning into my bedroom, and me crashing on the couch with two pillows and my corral-colored blanket. It all started the week I got sick and after that my Dad made the decision to get rid of the carpet; However, while my family and I just let the idea roll off our backs my friend told my dad he'd take it out himself. He did. I love him so much. Lord knows him and I were expecting wooden floors after the drastic change but because of finances that project has been on hold. So here I am now lying down in my comfy bed tonight with bare wood left after being stripped of it's old carpet. I must say though that the view of the lights flashing outside my window and the stars slightly above are gorgeous. Really. It's been a long time since I've stopped and looked. Sometimes God leads us into peculiar situations, uncharted territory, only so that we can stop for a little while and enjoy the view. My nights spent on the couch had their reward too: midnight Bible readings by the lamp next to my momentary "bed" and getting to watch the moon through the half circle window above the front door. All these changes made me think of how one small, seemingly insignificant event, can become a catalyst for something big. I'm learning to love and appreciate the small, the lowly, the underestimated. God works wonders with these sorts of things. It reminds me of how much He would insist that Israel's armies be as small as possible. God is easier to see when the loud background is faded out. What I've been learning is that the good, the bad, the ugly, and the just plain weird are a way of God saying "I'm still here." Those small things that you can't seem to find joy in are going to cause something bigger to show up and the right door will open because God is faithful...He is full of faith. When God asks us to have faith in order to see Him He's asking us to place Him above all else as number one in our hearts, with single-hearted devotion.///

Joining past and present thoughts now. I drove up in my Dad's Dodge truck (borrowed momentarily) today after school and walked inside the kitchen to find a medium can of white paint waiting for me on the table. Let's just say that after the second day of painting my friend and I made a few slip ups (oops lol). We finished though, kinda, and that's what counts. Goodbye dark pink and hello beach glass! My floor still isn't set up but my parents decided to put my bed in anyways because I think they were starting to feel so bad about me sleeping on the couch. So I am now in my room, on my bed, sipping jugo de jamaica (jamaica juice), with a grateful heart. In a bit I'm probably going to watch Hallmark Movie Channel (because I love their sweet movies) or wedding shows on TLC while I paint, go for my night run, and then get in some Bible reading time that I'm craving so much of.

A Psalm: Your Words, My Words

(Psalm 119:54) Your decrees are the theme of my song wherever I lodge.

Awww yes...this verse...this verse made my day. I have two ultimate favorite Psalms out of all of them that I love and Psalm 119 is one of them. This Psalm in particular is a compilation of the psalms of various authors. The one message that each author shared was a description of what the Lord's decrees, words, laws, mean to them. To one they were sweeter than honey, to another their security, salvation, and joy. I sat during my break between my first and second class reading this and felt peace. Like I was on some beautiful quiet island sipping a nice cold glass of sweet tea.



Serenity.
Calm.
Selah.


       

///Now I'm typing before I head on over to Psalmist
School and I find myself thinking: What do the Lord's
decrees mean to me? How can I describe in my own
words what His words have done in my life?///

  Psalm of Deyanira

  Lord, your words shine like
  the stars in the sky within my
  heart. Though endless, they
  are eternally engraved within
  my thoughts. This is why I
  am always thinking of you
  wherever I go and why I
  can't sleep without speaking
  with you. You alone make
  me whole and your words
  make me completely
  complete. Continue to teach
  me as you have, for you
  alone have given your all for
  me. You Lord have been my
  teacher, ever present in my
  life since before I breathed
  my first breath. My love is
  yours forever and ever.

One Of My Favorite Psalms

*~*~*~*~*

(Psalm 63:1-8)

You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you;

I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you,

in a dry and parched land where there is no water.

I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld 

your power and your glory. Because your love 

is better than life, my lips will glorify you.

I will praise you as long as I live, and in your 

name I will lift up my hands.

I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;

with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

On my bed I remember you; I think of you through 

the watches of the night. Because you are my help,

I sing in the shadow of your wings. I cling to you;

your right hand upholds me.

*~*~*~*~*

///Meditating On The Word Of God///

*~*~*~*~*

As I browsed through inspirational quote after quote I suddenly came upon a great little picture titled, "How To Meditate On A Verse Of Scripture." It's amazing how we find treasures when we least expect them. So after I find this I think to myself, this is too good to keep to myself I just have to share this! And so...I present to you the tips that are on the image. I've tried them myself and really do love them. I keep various journals, but for this project in particular I'm using an old sketchbook of mine. I've filled page by page with verse after verse and sketch after sketch.

                                                {1.} Picture it! (visualize, draw a sketch) 

                                                {2.} Pronounce it! (emphasize each word) 

                                                {3.} Paraphrase it! (put it in your own words) 

                                                {4.} Personalize it! (put it in first person) 

                                                {5.} Pray it! (turn it into a prayer) 

                                                {6.} Probe it! (ask specific questions...) 

*~*~*~*~*

A little tune...well, it's more than just a tune. I share with 

you all a song by one of my favorite worship leaders. The 

original is by Brian & Katie Torwalt which is equally 

amazing but...there's just something about live worship 

that I love because it feels so near and real. 

Very anointed and don't even get me started on 

the spontaneous worship. Enjoy!

"I See Heaven"- Steffany Gretzinger

To Read or Not To Read—That Is The Question

Gasp! What to do when you have to choose between what you know you should do and what you know you have to do? As Christians we are faced with this in our public school setting, with friends, and maybe even with family members. We find ourselves at a crossroads.

This past week I faced my own trying moment as I had to choose between reading an assigned book for my English Lit. class or walking away by not doing the work and S.N.ing (Spark Noting) it all to oblivion. Knowing right from wrong I decided to do the most logical and appropriate thing‒Pray. My professor assigned our first reading, Flannery O'Connor's book, "Wise Blood." Not before long I began to notice that this "easy read" wasn't going to be so easy because it went against all that I believed in speaking every horrible thing one can think of to call Jesus. It's a very dark piece that I would never recommend any Christian to read because you will literally get a headache after a few pages...one's spirit just can't take so much. Once I started noticing these issues I began to just pray for God to give me the strength to just do this and represent Him in the process. We will have to face difficulties in which we must choose but what I have to say is this: just because you don't like what you're reading doesn't give you the right to walk away because where would our testimony lie then? It's so easy to run away from the world to escape sin but we're really running from what lies within us. Our foundation must be well secured in Christ Jesus because if it isn't we will easily be shaken. The word of God tells us not to conform to this school but never does it say to get away from it because we have been sent here for a purpose. When you face these sorts of things my advice to you would be to pray, pray, and then pray some more. But ultimately what the Lord showed me was that I have to obey my professor and do what he says but not act in the ways that the rest of my classmates act. I've met some great people but yes some do cuss and others do blow off assignments, but does this mean I should escape and flee to the middle of nowhere? No. Jesus wouldn't and didn't do that. By His testimony and His message of truth lives were changed. (Romans 13:1-3) Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God. So anyone who rebels against authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and they will be punished. For the authorities do not strike fear in people who are doing right, but in those who are doing wrong. Would you like to live without fear of the authorities? Do what is right, and they will honor you. It's almost like there's this constant fear in us to not do anything wrong and from respecting the Lord we go to being terrified of Him.  We've got to strive to do what is right but we can't live in terror and condemnation. This is not the kind of relationship that God wants to have with us because His perfect love casts out all fear. Like His word says, if we are afraid then we have not been made whole by His love because we live thinking that we are going to be punished at any moment. I read "Wise Blood" up to where I had to in order to get enough information for the essay that I had to write in class. Had I not read this book, what sort of opinion could I have given? How would I have represented my God? I could have dropped the class or simply failed my exam by not taking it but that would have impeded the over all purpose that God has for my life. There are things that we have to do that we won't want to do. Are we going to run away like Jonah, or are we going to confront our giants like David? The only way to know what God wants us to do is by asking Him. There are times in everything, meaning that sometimes God will give us the green light and other times He won't because He knows what He's doing. How will we know the difference? (John 10:3-5) The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep recognize his voice and come to him. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. After he has gathered his own flock, he walks ahead of them, and they follow him because they know his voice. They won’t follow a stranger; they will run from him because they don’t know his voice.”

In order to move in God's perfect timing, to know when God wants us to do something, and recognize when He doesn't we must do three important things:

       1). Recognize Jesus' voice

       2). Follow only His voice

       3). Know His voice

This means that we've Got to have a close, intimate, relationship with God so that we can hear his voice constantly, listen to the Holy Spirit's guidance, and then obey. Like Kari Jobe and many other wise pastors have said, "We can only recognize a voice that we've heard more than once." We've got to spend time with God.

May The Painting Reflect The Painter

(Psalm 8:3-4) When I look at the night sky and see the work of your fingers—the moon and the stars you set in place—what are mere mortals that you should think about them, human beings that you should care for them?

When God created us were were like clay, a motionless glob in need of shaping. We needed a master and God longed to construct a fine masterpiece. The skies were like a blank canvas crying out for a way out of darkness. One breath, one brush stroke, one movement and we came to be. Our craftsman labored joyfully and smiled at the sight of us as He made us in the secret place. Each brush stroke brought life.

Like any artist, God has a special connection to each of His masterpieces because to Him they are perfect and one of a kind. To lose such an intimate relationship would hurt Him because He labored and toiled, cried and laughed, imagined and brought life. His pencil drew and His finger touched each soul.

*~*~*~*~*

Each and every one of us was created with passion and love by the hands of God. He enjoyed turning on the biggest lamp in the world to see our faces. Placing His purpose in our hearts, He knit us together. It's about time we recognize Him who loved us first. We were not created to be invisible or overlooked. How long must we hide our lamp beneath our bed? The hour has come for the children of God to wake up from our slumber and shine in our schools, church, and daily lives. It's not  just about shouting the name of Jesus everywhere we go, but about showing the proof of His love in all that we say and do. We can not preach forgiveness when we hold grudges against those who have deeply hurt us. Shine by "loving like you've never been hurt," and by living each day with this amazing mindset: I have Jesus and I get all these things too? Wow! Just like God has given us life we must give life to others...we can only give what we have. Don't have? With all my heart I say, ask and you shall surely receive  Start painting life. Let your life reflect the artist who created you. Hold tight to the word of God and start leaving trails of light everywhere you go. May those who see you see what God intended them to see.

When We Go On Our Own

Beginning to read the Book of Joshua one portion stuck out at me and caused me to re-read a few times. When this happens I know God wants to show me something, I know He's speaking into my heart.

*~*~*

(Joshua 9:3-8)

But when the people of Gibeon heard what Joshua had done to Jericho and Ai, they resorted to deception to save themselves. They sent ambassadors to Joshua, loading their donkeys with weathered saddlebags and old, patched wineskins. They put on worn-out, patched sandals and ragged clothes. And the bread they took with them was dry and moldy. When they arrived at the camp of Israel at Gilgal, they told Joshua and the men of Israel, “We have come from a distant land to ask you to make a peace treaty with us.” The Israelites replied to these Hivites, “How do we know you don’t live nearby? For if you do, we cannot make a treaty with you.” They replied, “We are your servants.”

(Joshua 9:12-18)

“This bread was hot from the ovens when we left our homes. But now, as you can see, it is dry and moldy. These wineskins were new when we filled them, but now they are old and split open. And our clothing and sandals are worn out from our very long journey.” So the Israelites examined their food, but they did not consult the Lord. Then Joshua made a peace treaty with them and guaranteed their safety, and the leaders of the community ratified their agreement with a binding oath. Three days after making the treaty, they learned that these people actually lived nearby! The Israelites set out at once to investigate and reached their towns in three days. The names of these towns were Gibeon, Kephirah, Beeroth, and Kiriath-jearim. But the Israelites did not attack the towns, for the Israelite leaders had made a vow to them in the name of the Lord, the God of Israel.

*~*~*

There are times in our lives that are harder to swallow than others, yet there are also situations that we face that seem fine. We think we can handle the little things in life. The truth is...we need God for everything. We need to consult God before our decisions, whether we think we can handle them or not because His ways are not our ways. Why put ourselves in the situation to be surrounded by wolves. Just because Jesus promised to rescue us doesn't mean that we should step out on the limb. I would rather just cling to Him always. I cling by reading His word, through prayer, conversation, and Worship. It's because he loved me first that I want to hold tight to Him. I encourage you my bloggers to do the same. At that moment you will tast and see that the Lord is good and you will experience the tremendous joy of taking refuge in His loving arms. It might feel like we're about to drown beneath the raging currents but they will not drown us. Because he is our refuge the situations in our lives will not overcome us. Because of Christ. It's all because of my sweet, sweet Jesus. When we decide to go on our own we run the risk of hitting a wall or being deceived  But I love this and truly live for it:

(John 10:27-29) My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish. No one can snatch them away from me, for my Father has given them to me, and he is more powerful than anyone else. No one can snatch them from the Father’s hand.