Change & Growth

I am officially 21 years old. My birthday was on September 13th and the Lord gave me the same gift He gives me every year: a rainstorm. I woke up at 6:00 AM to the sound of rain hitting my window. My family and my fiance and I had dinner and it was honestly a really nice day. I have so much gratitude in my heart and God is the number one reason. My life is in no way "perfect" but I've learned that our focus determines how we live. If we focus on having "the perfect life" we'll never truly be fulfilled because God sent us to this world with a mission and it wasn't to simply be happy and comfortable nor to strife for our own pleasure. Fulfillment and joy is in walking in what God has called us to. Only each of us knows what that thing is. The Word phrase that jumped out at me during my morning Bible read was, "run in such a way as to get the prize." Only I know my crown so only I will understand what my prize and run are all about and no one else. It's been quite a season of learning to hold firm to God's promises no matter what tried to make me let go and walk away. God gave me peace and joy during the storm and then at the end He gave me the ultimate letter of confirmation. This recent season was a huge faith season to the point where I truly had to believe the still small voice was His without proof to show those who criticized it. I thank God I went through it but I also thank God it's over. Will it get harder? Oh I'm so sure it will because the calling isn't a game. The Holy Spirit is training us to walk through the valleys of darkness and rescue those who are bound there and hidden behind prison walls. I'll never forget this season. But a new time is coming and it's here actually. This next season I feel like God is going to grow me. My roots will sink deeper and my flowers will bloom.  Change has not been an easy subject for me and I've gone through a lot of that lately...a lot. My fiance and I are helping to lift up a new church band at a local church and we're serving there right now (me vocals and him on the instruments). I've gotten to truly meet some of the church members and the pastors and honestly there's so much genuine love there to the point that I feel like if I'm seeing Jesus and his love face to face. I've never witnessed this and that's sad for me to say but it's true. These people open their home to the least of these and give more than what they have to help others. It's a beautiful sight. Daniel's living arrangements have changed so he lives a little farther and I'm about to start doing my practicum hours at The Family Church with Celebrate Recovery and hopefully with the church therapist. So many new things and new people are coming into my life and it's working for good. I'm staying prayed up and clinging to my morning Bible time because I know that I'm going to need a bigger anchor for the bigger boat that God is giving me.

It's Finally Here!

I'm officially 2 decades old! Gosh! If that statement doesn't make me feel old I don't know what will. I've pre-written this and scheduled it so I'm not really the birthday girl until Friday September 13th, when y'all actually get to see this post. This is the day a dream, an idea, birthed out of the heart of God came to be. From the secret place I said farewell and see you soon to my heavenly Daddy and was sent to earth to my family. I'm so grateful. I feel into loving, Godly arms. It's a quiet gratitude that is slowly but surely spilling over year after year, day after day, moment after moment. Every year on this day I say I feel the same but I feel and look different. I'm just not the same. I've been molded. Shaped. Torn. Re-made. The little girl I once was is no more but I like this girl so much more...she's been touched by God. She's like clay in the Potter's hands. What word's of wisdom can I say other than these: Ahhh...it's been quite an unbelievable journey and the path has been narrow. Things (special as well as hurtful) I've had to leave behind to follow the path toward my sweet Jesus. It's been a different kind of freedom along this path, one that I would not trade for anything. It's freedom to truly live and love. The "things" that I've left behind do not compare to the love and security I feel knowing that no matter what God is with me. I've learned that though the walk may seem lonely at times in actuality it's so not because the whole time Jesus is walking right beside us, our gaze often lingers elsewhere though. I've learned that earthly relationships (family, friends, special someone) are temporary so it's best to show the love of Christ while we can because when we've freely been given love it's only natural for us to freely give it back. I've learned that walls are terrible things to build between us and God and that every day is a new day to let God tear them down, do some lovin', so they never go up again. God makes all things beautiful in His perfect timing. Time is not ours but God's, and I like it better that way. I like Him being in complete control. I'm feeling pretty reflective right now so...

How bout I promise to post some fun updates this weekend?

I promise. Updates to be continued on this post Saturday.

God bless!

-Deya

*~*~*

-Updates-

I spent a fun quiet evening with my Mom, Dad, and sister. They asked if I wanted a party as usual but I just wasn't feeling it. I just wanted to soak in so many new things with those who have truly been with me since day 1. I really loved talking with my parents at the table, opening an unexpectedly hidden present, reading the Word of God together, having a B-B-Q under our roof as September rain made its grand entrance. There were so many things for my to thank God for. One of my favorites was weighing in on my birthday and realizing that I had shed 6 lbs in four weeks. That was a good moment. The process. The process. God just makes it all work out.