Focus On The Promise Through The Journey

Sometimes, when we've been walking through our journey for so long we can end up losing the focus of our actual destination. God gives us a promise, but when more time than we were expecting passes, it becomes harder to see "it". We question, we cry out, we even lose hope for a sec., but we never give up. I've always had a saying ever since I gave my life over to Jesus and encountered Him: There's no turning back anymore no matter what, no matter how hard it gets my only option is to move forward.

"If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward."  -Martin Luther King Jr.

God never said the journey of this life would be easy, but he did say that the arrival would be worth it! -Max Lucado

I've been asking God the same question over and over and over again for quite some time (years) and today I was just stopped by Him. He reminded me of a prayer I made when I was 15 years old and how He answered the beginning of it during that time. To me the little sign I asked God for at the end of my prayer was just a quirky inside joke between me and God, but he answered it. I joke with what I ask and He jokes by responding super quick. You see, the problem is that I expected that my whole prayer list would be answered and packaged up to be delivered to me all at once, but God's ways were different. He said it would be given to me but He didn't say when or how. My journey to the promise has been a rough one, I can't deny it, but I have come out a stronger woman who God intends to make stronger.

One Winter day during the Festival of Dedication, Jesus was confronted by the Jews who were also walking along in the temple courts. They surrounded Jesus and asked him "how long" he planned on keeping them "in suspense" and to just tell them "plainly" if he was the Messiah. While I was reading this story this morning in John 10:22-30 I knew without a doubt in my mind that God was talking to me. I had been crying out asking God to please just speak to me in such an obvious way because I couldn't get it, but He said to me that He already answered my question many times but I just wasn't seeing what He wanted me to see. I just wasn't getting it. When I started my walk toward the promise I was so sure, but then things got so scary bad that I let my gaze become foggy. I felt frustrated like those Jews did (of course I wasn't going to stone my Savior but I let anger and confusion get the best of me) because though they had heard the promise of Jesus' coming written in scripture, they let their gaze become foggy by what was said to them:the scriptures said that a Messiah was coming in a humble manner but it didn't say his name or the fact that he was going to be a carpenter's son.  The promise was delivered to them in different circumstances than they had expected in their hearts so they closed up their hearts and refused to see that God was living among them. The signs and wonders made it obvious but to believe meant that they had to be closer to faith and farther from their expectations. I knew that I couldn't take my anger and frustration out on my God, so instead...I took it out on the promise. That's a big no,no. I was so busy comparing my walk to others and asking God why others were happy with their promise fulfilled while mine seemed to be getting crazier and even more unpredictable. The thing is: God is not a cookie-cutter God, so He created individual people with individual stories. It's easy to buy into a one-for-all solution but that's just not true. We have to seek God's counsel directly from Him and then wait for His confirmation (through His word, dreams, people...etc). This whole week my seeking an answer for my question really escalated, and I see now as I write this that God has been answering me. Every morning with what I've been reading in the Word He's been answering me. It all connects. How God showed me in the Book of Genesis that he had to open Hagar's eyes to see the well of water so that she wouldn't let hopelessness in the middle of the dessert kill her and her son Ishmael, how God protected and cared for Ishmael as his only Father after he was rejected and sent away as God's plan to create him into a strong nation, and also how God looked into the heart of Rebekah and predestined her to be the wife that would say yes to an unpredictable marriage to Abraham's son Isaac. God spoke to me in detail about these stories all week long and finally I understand. Jesus was obviously the Messiah and my answer has been obviously staring me in the face for years. Jesus' answer to the Jews in the temple was this:

(John 10:27-30) My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father's hand. I and the Father are one."

I am so sure of my salvation in Jesus and that He abides in me and I in Him by His grace alone, therefore my ear is in tune to what He's saying. The devil sometimes wants to make us doubt that, actually, the enemy always wants to make us doubt that because His mission is to kill, steal, and destroy us. I truly believe that Jesus wasn't just answering the Jew's questions...He was making a bold statement and letting the devil know that what belonged to the king of kings could not be taken from Him even by the thieve of thieves. We belong to Jesus and the devil has no right to touch us and our God who is greater can not be over-powered. I realized that the reason that I haven't responded to the many voices around me for years telling me to go this way and that way is because I've been fleeing from the other. I was once told a great truth: the devil takes no breaks and shows no mercy. He will use whatever he wants to use in order to kill you because your purpose threatens him. That goes for all of us. The enemy has tried to make me believe that I'm crazy for not listening to who I "should" listen to, dumb for "failing" those who I shouldn't, or just plain disobedient and worthy of receiving God's punishment when that is not true. Because the people around me have also seen the dessert that I have walked through with my promise in hand, they give advice out of hopelessness when I have been called to walk by the amount of faith that God has given to me. My walk is mine, entrusted to me by God and nobody will ever confuse me enough to snatch it from me. I am to complete my mission until I see the fulfillment of what God has promised me. I encourage everybody who reads this...stand strong and firm in the faith. Keep pressing forward with your eyes focused on the promise as you walk this life-long journey. May faith arise and I pray that hope sustain us through.

Seeking God & Journaling This Morning

I woke up around 7:00 AM this morning as I usually do to take my puppy Cody outside. I usually wake up even early so needless to say, great morning. I made my self some Nopalitos (cactus) and egg, prayed, and then went back upstairs to my room. I grabbed a hold of my Bible and as always, asked the Lord for what He wanted to share with me today. As I began to read I couldn't help myself...I had to go for my journal. After I did some writing and meditating I was so fired up that I knew I had to share my journal entry with y'all. So here it is, just as I wrote it. The Holy Spirit was just pouring out the Father's desires on my heart all morning. Freedom is a beautiful gift that comes with great responsibility.

God, through salvation in Jesus Christ, has given me [FREEDOM]: 

The state of no longer being imprisoned or enslaved to receive 

the power and right to act, speak, or think as I want without hindrance or restraint.

But God says: Let me show you what to do with my freedom that is now yours. 

I am completely paraphrasing what the Lord showed me this morning in 

(1 Corinthians 10:23-24).

Don't seek what's good for you, but instead, 

go after what's good for others. 

Even though I have given you the right to do anything, 

not everything is beneficial nor constructive. 

Not everything makes personal and social 

well-being possible to result in good. 

Not everything promotes improvement 

and development in order to build up.

Follow me on Instagram @deyacavazos13

College Life, Dreams, & Such Things

 So far school has been interesting. Good. Great. Pretty awesome. The evening classes are new for me and I am so not used to that but throwing something different into something usual can turn out great. I don't want to turn into a what if person so every now and then why not pray through a season and then try something new, challenging, unknown? The great unknown. If I could describe my college career from the very beginning I would have to say that it's felt like an adventure. I've ventured into the great unknown with my lamp and oil following The Lord's guidance, discerning His voice, and recognizing the right open doors. Many doors will be presented but we have to know which one's are right for us and the only way to know is to be in communion with the Father. I can't say it enough. Doing life with God and God doing life with us is beautiful and what Jesus gave His life for. Before my Abnormal Psychology class started this morning I arrived early, sat in the auditorium, and continued to read through the Book of Matthew. I wanted to just jump out of my swivel chair when I read that my Lord was betrayed and sold for 30 pieces of silver. That number will forever be etched in my heart, mind, and soul. I just had a moment. I was in a lecture hall and had an intimately public moment with my Lord. This is totally off subject but I just have to throw it out there...His life He gave to pay for our ransom and though the price tag placed on Him was insulting He never put a price tag on our lives. Yup I had a moment.

Anyway, now that I've managed to throw so many details (which I really do love and I'm sure there's a point to them) out there I do want to share some pictures that have been becoming more and more clear. After graduation, when The Lord spoke to me about trading up my intended architecture career for the career He had in store for me, a new journey in my life began. Before then I was saved and in love with Jesus, spending all my time in church and stuff but I felt an abrupt turn of the wheel in my spiritual vehicle. I felt The Lord saying that that season of my life was good and necessary but it was a stepping block for what was to come. I felt Him strongly say that now in the next season's He was going to show His love for me differently because spiritual maturity was going to have to come. Every season after in some way was going to be about me learning to trust Him more, and more, and more, and even more. In the moment I was like, "Ok Lord, awesome!" Now that I look back...boy I totally understand what He was saying. The picture has become clearer and clearer. So I let go of my dreams, which were only based on my talent and experience. You'd think that it would be hard to walk into something blind, as many would say, but it wasn't. Have you ever heard the expression, love is blind? I was so in love with Jesus that it was easy to let to. His love is blind to the eyes but clear to the spirit. A few years back I wouldn't have listened, I would have rebelled but God won my heart over in His perfect timing. So The Lord caught my attention during a career day when I went in to listen to an Occupation Therapist speak. I was like, "Lord, no! What are you doing? You know I'm bad at science...how could I ever do anything medical? That was one of the first times I felt God smile and laugh at me. Clearly in my heart I heard Him say, "Do you trust me?" I gave Him one of my usual nods and kept listening to the speaker and after ran and told my counselor and teachers that I was switching careers. I went to a small academy so everybody knew everybody basically. They were all shocked, knowing all the previous plans I had made. I had already won scholarships. The trust seasons began. It's been a journey. The Lord has been leading me almost like through a trail of breadcrumbs. He caught my attention and then I walk through the next door, giving Him all the glory now in everything accomplished. He first caught my attention with OT which then lead me to major in Rehabilitation (super broad field) with a concentration in addictions and a minor in Spanish. The Holy Spirit and I have diligently worked and toiled, and now the next door has opened. The next breadcrumb has been set before me.

{Journal Entry Excerpt: September 21, 2013} Raw, messy, and all my heart and I.

"...A professor/super cool director came to do random pop-ins in the rehab classes to talk about a Master's program in Texas Tech University (Lubbock Texas y'all) called Marriage & Family Therapy. As she was explaining...The more words she said the more "that feeling" rose and traveled from my spirit to my heart. The same feeling that I got junior/senior year during the career day thinga-ma-bob. The Holy Spirit saying this is the next door go, go, go! God told me from the very start not to worry, that all I had to do was work up until the next door that opened and so on. He was right. He always is. Trusting Him with my (using "my" so lightly) career has been easy because I've seen the fruit day, month, and year after year. I wasn't sure to go for my Master's or not deep down but this woman literally said, "Don't you even think about not going to graduate school just because you don't have the funds, we will do everything we can to help you." She talked about the great need they had for Hispanic counselors: bilingual and bicultural. I felt peace in my heart, knowing this is it, sitting there, looking up and thinking: I hear you God. It's like I've been walking and wondering what would come after (would I get my master's in Rehab even though it doesn't feel right, like this isn't it) and God answered. I feel so good right now. Though I respect the Rehab Master's program and its amazing labor with DARS, something inside me knew that that wasn't my fit. I love seeing God restore lives and the fact that He would lead me into a career like that makes me feel honored and loved and yeah, special. I know I wanted to work with the youth and families through counseling and intervention. I know God put that desire in me from the start for a reason."

I'm a junior. I graduate in 2015. The next door came early in my timing but just right right for God. He knows what He's doing. I have about two more years before this decision takes place. The moving 632 miles from home thing is crazy for me for many reasons but I trust God with my now and my future. I guess if you get anything out of this post know that falling in love with God makes you realize that the waiting periods of your life aren't meant to be suffered, but to be dearly loved. Work on trusting the Lord, it's a process and one day you'll look back and understand. Enjoy your day guys! I'm off to class! Another pebble in the stepping stones of life.

Bringing My Lamp & My Oil

(Matthew 25:1-4)

“At that time the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins 

who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. 

Five of them were foolish and five were wise. The foolish ones 

took their lamps but did not take any oil with them. The wise ones, 

however, took oil in jars along with their lamps. 

The Lord has really been pressing in my spirit the story of the ten virgins toward the end of the Book of Matthew. Even though I continued to read ahead I always seemed to make my way back to that small passage in the 25th chapter. This is one of my favorite parables that Jesus taught just because it mirrors the church as His bride, Jesus as the bridegroom, and He gives us another little glimpse of what bringing His kingdom down to earth looks like. I got some info about the tradition of Jewish weddings online because I really wanted to understand the context of what Jesus was talking about: "In Jewish society, the parents of the betrothed generally drew up the marriage contract. The bride and groom would meet, perhaps for the first time, when this contract was signed. The couple was considered married at this point, but they would separate until the actual time of the ceremony. The bride would remain with her parents, and the groom would leave to prepare their home. This could take quite a while. When the home was all ready, the groom would return for his bride without notice. The marriage ceremony would then take place, and the wedding banquet would follow."

When I started to read, a picture was painted in my head of these ten young ladies, half careless and the other half expectantly waiting for the groom to arrive. I imagined their talks of what he looked like standing at the altar, of where they would live together, and when he was coming. I imagined them pacing back and forth looking out of the windows to be the first ones to run to His side. At this point he could be right around the corner or far off in the distance: It was a total surprise visit waiting to happen. For any girl it's hard to wait, can I get an amen? I can picture joy turning into expectancy, expectancy turning into impatience, and impatience turning into boredom. The young women became so tired of waiting that they fell asleep. When the bridegroom arrived at midnight to take the ladies to the banquet to celebrate, the ones that were prepared followed with their well-oiled lamps while the one's that weren't were left behind and denied entrance into the feast.

The details of this parable are so important. What the Spirit pressed in my heart was that the wise virgins that were prepared with their lamps and oil are a symbol of God's church being ready through the filling of His Word and His Holy Spirit. Psalm 119:105 automatically popped up into my head word by word and I was like yes Lord, I understand. But right after He revealed that the lamp was talking about God's Word He then spoke this strongly into my spirit: The ladies that were left out had their lamps but lacked the oil...that oil is my Holy Spirit. Without the Holy Spirit to breathe a new revelation of God's Word into our lives we the church will not see the glory of Jesus manifested here on earth. This is like supplementing His signs and wonders for a Bible study. We need the combination. We can't have one without the other. It is His desire for all of His children to move in the power of the Holy Spirit. These ten women, symbolizing the church, knew that without the oil eventually the fire was going to burn out and they would not be able to see their bridegroom coming and would either miss Him or get lost trying to go out to meet Him.

(Psalm 119:105)

Your word is a lamp for my feet,
    a light on my path.

The Bible is the instrument that The Lord provides us with so that we can follow the path that He's marked out before us and His Holy Spirit is the source of power that is needed to turn keep the fire burning. His anointing in our lives is his seal of ownership because knowing the word alone won't do it, this just opens the door for religion. We need His Word + His Holy Spirit anointing in order to produce fire (power) in our lives.

(2 Corinthians 1:21-22)

Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. 

He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit 

in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.

.

We have one of those antique oil lamps at home on top of our fridge that we've conserved for years for those stormy nights when the power goes out. I want to talk a little bit about the maintenance of an oil lamp. Humor me guys I promise it's important. After you've filled the bottom glass end with oil the wick (rectangular thick stringy thingy) has to be trimmed if it's been previously used because it's all burned up. In the the parable of the ten virgins I noticed that the moment the ladies heard that the bridegroom was coming they woke up and the first thing they did was trim their lamps. They had left their lamps burning the whole time that now the time came for them to re-fuel them with some oil and a clean wick. You know that moment when you read through something but then stop, make a curious face, and then read back again? That was my aha moment. I knew that this portion of was important somehow so I said, "Holy Spirit show me, explain why this is important." He likes to flood me and that's exactly what happened and continues to happen. Just like that "wick" our spiritual lives reach points of burn out when we're stuck on old revelations and past experiences when the Holy Spirit wants to give us something fresh and new. I've been there and gosh I'm sure we all have but what He spoke into my spirit was that we need to trim off the old burned up wick. We need to throw away what we think we know about God through what we've learned so far, to make room for Him to show up in our lives a new way. We need to throw out the window what we've heard of God and prepare ourselves for daily encounters. And I'm not talking about shutting out readings or men and women of God, not at all. But I am saying that living off of second hand information is scary and not enough. We need to have a personal relationship with God and then let second hand information serve as a compliment and as confirmation for what the Holy Spirit has already revealed to us first. Let's just let our bridegroom pay us a surprise visit. Let's be ready for that visit. I'm excited!

It's Finally Here!

I'm officially 2 decades old! Gosh! If that statement doesn't make me feel old I don't know what will. I've pre-written this and scheduled it so I'm not really the birthday girl until Friday September 13th, when y'all actually get to see this post. This is the day a dream, an idea, birthed out of the heart of God came to be. From the secret place I said farewell and see you soon to my heavenly Daddy and was sent to earth to my family. I'm so grateful. I feel into loving, Godly arms. It's a quiet gratitude that is slowly but surely spilling over year after year, day after day, moment after moment. Every year on this day I say I feel the same but I feel and look different. I'm just not the same. I've been molded. Shaped. Torn. Re-made. The little girl I once was is no more but I like this girl so much more...she's been touched by God. She's like clay in the Potter's hands. What word's of wisdom can I say other than these: Ahhh...it's been quite an unbelievable journey and the path has been narrow. Things (special as well as hurtful) I've had to leave behind to follow the path toward my sweet Jesus. It's been a different kind of freedom along this path, one that I would not trade for anything. It's freedom to truly live and love. The "things" that I've left behind do not compare to the love and security I feel knowing that no matter what God is with me. I've learned that though the walk may seem lonely at times in actuality it's so not because the whole time Jesus is walking right beside us, our gaze often lingers elsewhere though. I've learned that earthly relationships (family, friends, special someone) are temporary so it's best to show the love of Christ while we can because when we've freely been given love it's only natural for us to freely give it back. I've learned that walls are terrible things to build between us and God and that every day is a new day to let God tear them down, do some lovin', so they never go up again. God makes all things beautiful in His perfect timing. Time is not ours but God's, and I like it better that way. I like Him being in complete control. I'm feeling pretty reflective right now so...

How bout I promise to post some fun updates this weekend?

I promise. Updates to be continued on this post Saturday.

God bless!

-Deya

*~*~*

-Updates-

I spent a fun quiet evening with my Mom, Dad, and sister. They asked if I wanted a party as usual but I just wasn't feeling it. I just wanted to soak in so many new things with those who have truly been with me since day 1. I really loved talking with my parents at the table, opening an unexpectedly hidden present, reading the Word of God together, having a B-B-Q under our roof as September rain made its grand entrance. There were so many things for my to thank God for. One of my favorites was weighing in on my birthday and realizing that I had shed 6 lbs in four weeks. That was a good moment. The process. The process. God just makes it all work out.

The Details

Rain, rain...my hair and clothes would like you to go away but you do my heart so much good. I love how God paints the sky, it's different every single time. Every morning, afternoon, and evening that I either drive to or from school I can't help but stare at what has lately been cloudy skies. Maybe it's my love for painting that causes my eyes to focus in on every color. Maybe. I'd like to think a little deeper than that though. Could it be that my spirit recognizes the artwork of my Father? I think that nature is a slice of God's beautiful heart. I couldn't help but feel so much more than good as I sat on a bench on the second floor of the Rehab building and watched rain trickle and then spontaneously pour down right in front of my eyes. It was like an unexpected crescendo of rain that made my heart and soul feel just right. When I witness little things like this I just feel God smiling and nudging me as if to say, "a few minutes ago that could have been you running frantically to take cover but I held it up just for you. Love you." Because God delights in the details of our lives I delight in His details. You can imagine how I was feeling as I was reading my Bible App before class on a cool day with the sound of rain tapping against old brick walls. If I could visualize a spiritual harmony that would be it for me right there. My favorite moment of the week so far. I love what I'm studying, I love it so much. At first I was like, God what on earth are you doing? But I see why He loves this and why He wanted me to love it too. I can't wait to put all the puzzle pieces together. The journey though is the best part. Gotta love it!

(Psalm 37:23) The Lord directs the steps of the godly.

    He delights in every detail of their lives.

The Beginning Of True Worship: A Circumsized Heart

My Bible reading time is getting so good. I'm so close to The New Testament that I can taste it but the journey has been astonishing, slow paced but full of meditation. As I read through the books of Jeremiah and Ezekiel there was one similar focal point that I tuned into: God was telling these anointed men that what He most desired was the heart. The Lord went on to pour out prophecies about how He planned to recapture Israel's hearts, how He desired for His people to circumcise their hearts. God gave them so many literal examples and symbols for what true worship really was but they (with an exception of a few) never got it. The prophet Samuel understood this when he reprimanded King Saul for choosing sacrifices over obedience. David got it when he sang in one of his Psalms about how he finally realized that The Lord takes no pleasure in sacrifices and offerings, but instead, delights in a broken and contrite heart. For a while God used these literal expressions as a shadow of the true meaning of the beginnings of worship. Before anything else, God desires to have our hearts in His hand, because to give someone your heart is to give them all of you. Change came and God was behind this transformation, ready to reveal to all that what He was trying to do this whole time was win over their hearts. The few men that understood this did life with God: walked with Him daily, invited The Lord to be where they were, and followed The Lord wherever He wanted them to go. It's so easy to recognize a move of God when you spend intimate and public time with God. In your secret place as well as the grocery store, church, between classes, at work, and during lunch conversations. This is a picture of what doing life with God is and it all begins with a rendered, devoted, circumcised heart. You see, a circumcision removes the natural protective covering and what God was saying was this: for a while guys I asked you to circumcise your children because I was giving you a picture of what I really wanted and that was for that wall in your heart that you use to keep me out to be removed so that I could come in. God wants to come in to our hearts and dwell there. Worship first involves us giving our hearts over so that His Spirit may dwell there. When Jesus came He later gave the next revelation and that was this: guys, the temple was a symbol for a long time but now I've been sent by my Father to tell you that when I leave His Spirit will now not just be with you and in you...now He's gonna be upon you because your bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit. The Lord tells us in The Book of Daniel that God is the revealer of mysteries and that He is.

*~*~*

(Ezekiel 11:19-20) I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh. Then they will follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. They will be my people, and I will be their God.

*~*~*

My favorite example so far in The Old Testament of what a circumcised heart looks like would have to be in the life story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego when they're put on the spot and about to be thrown into a burning furnace because they refused to worship anybody/anything else but their God. I mean, I felt empowered as I was reading this.

*~*~*

(Daniel 3:17-18) "If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.” 

*~*~*

God loves and honors that heart that has let Him completely come in to the point of living a life that screams: My God is the living God and He can do anything for me but even if things don't work out the way I envision I will still love Him and keep my heart open to Him. God just can't resist this genuine heart because we were all created the same fierce and bold potential to love. This is the beginning of true worship that is born from doing life with God.

That Place.

(Lamentations 3:57) You came near when I called you,

    and you said, “Do not fear.”

That place where words just aren't enough so all there is to say is a big bunch of silence. That place where you simply sit quietly and wait for an answer, a touch, something...anything at all. God is in that place with us. Just like there are noticeably glorious moments there are also subtle moments of God's glory being released: you can't quite see those and you can't quite feel those. Those moments are silent but full of life. Combine every single one of those moments in your life and you'll realize that you were never quite the same after them...we're forever changed by God's subtle touch. We don't have to be afraid, God is near. We were created to be in relationship with our Father. That place of intimacy, of stillness, of just not having all the answers...it's ok...God is there and He likes being there with us.

Top 10 Favorite Quotes From "When Heaven Invades Earth"

I finished the book! The quotes that I want to share have provoked me, stirred me up, and have also served as confirmation for me in this season. I really LOVED reading this book, in fact, my highlighter agrees. Neon pink, green, and yellow cover up almost every sentence of every page. I definitely recommend this read especially for those of you who have a hunger for more of God and who have a passion for seeing His kingdom displayed all over the earth. 

*~*~*

Bill Johnson's "When Heaven Invades Earth"

1. "Resistance to change is a resistance to the nature of God. Because the winds of change are blowing, it will be easy to distinguish between those who are satisfied and those who are hungry. Change brings to light the secrets of the heart."
2. "We lack understanding of who we are because we have little revelation of who He is."
3. "Being involved in the supernatural through spiritual gifts is what makes the invasion effective. The kingdom of God is a kingdom of power! We must be in pursuit of a fuller demonstration of the Spirit of God."
4. "Daniel discovered early on the power of holiness. He was unwilling to eat the king's delicacies. Separation to God is demonstrated in personal lifestyle, not associations. He could not control his surroundings...Many Christians prefer to work in a Christian business, attend Christian meetings, and isolate themselves from the very people we are left on the planet to touch in His name."
5. "The Bible is not a book of lists that confine or corral God. The Word does not contain God—it reveals Him."
6. "I was not left on planet earth to be in hiding waiting for Jesus' return. I am here on a military representative of heaven."
7. "Intimacy with God is our strong suit. Never allow anything to distract you from this point of strength."
8. "If the Father filled the Old Testament houses with His glory, though they were built by human hands, how much more will He fill the place that He builds with His own hands! He is building us into His eternal dwelling place."
9. "My hunger for His power is only surpassed by my desire for Him. It's been my pursuit of Him that has led me to this passion for an authentic gospel. Something happened in me that won't let me accept a gospel that isn't backed with signs and wonders."
10. "A glass is only full when it overflows. Fullness can only be measured by overflow."

A Season Of Seeking Out The Hidden Things

When we find ourselves secluded theses are the seasons where one on one with The Holy Spirit we grow and mature. There is always a lesson to be taught and learned. I find myself in this season right now and The Lord is who He says He is. Faithful and true, holding my hand and walking me through. After some adjustments in my life The Lord revealed to my heart and placed this scenario before me: "There is a bus that is taking you and others to the next season and you got on early. Better to be the first one on than the last because the last ones to get on I had to push and force so they come hurt, scared, and confused. This is a season of seeking out the hidden things." I've been hearing this in my Spirit and then came God's word to confirm His spirit taught words to me:

*~*~*

(Isaiah 26:20) 

Go, my people, enter your rooms 

and shut the doors behind you; 

hide yourselves for a little while 

until his wrath has passed by.

(Isaiah 45:3) 

I will give you hidden treasures, 

riches stored in secret places, 

so that you may know that 

I am the Lord, the God of Israel, 

who summons you by name.

(Isaiah 48:6-7) 

You have heard these things; 

look at them all. Will you not admit them? 

“From now on I will tell you of new things, 

of hidden things unknown to you. 

They are created now, and not long ago; 

you have not heard of them 

before today. So you cannot say, 

‘Yes, I knew of them.’ 

*~*~*

I've been what feels like the last one on the bus and it is not pretty...it hurts. I thought my wounds were going to kill me but my Lord healed me and only the scars remain. I never understood the scripture that reads that God wounded us but now He would heal us until I encountered these seasons. God raises a banner and calls out to us but sometimes we hesitate for too long and enter a zone of false comfortability. And then He is forced to drag us because He loves us and can not sit there and watch us miss the prepared table that He has set before us. The confusion and pain won't last forever because our God is faithful and will bind our wounds and wipe our tears. There is rest in knowing who we are in Christ and what God wants us to really do. We will never be able to fit a man-made mold. That yoke is too heavy and only brings us neverending burdens. They are burdens disguised as servanthood obedience and kingdom obligations but God will not permit His loved ones to be fooled. 

*~*~*

(Psalm 127:1-2) 

Unless the Lord builds the house,

    the builders labor in vain.

Unless the Lord watches over the city,

    the guards stand watch in vain.

2 

In vain you rise early and stay up late,

toiling for food to eat—

    for he grants sleep to those he loves.

*~*~*

Just two Sundays ago I had this vision during the service while the team and I were worshiping in song and what I saw was a beautiful treasure box. I felt my Lord's excitement. He wanted His people to open it. He desired for us to open it. I say "us" because He longs for all of His children to want more of Him. To be curious and child-like in our Daddy's spiritual matters. This makes Him happy. The treasures of our Father's heart are found through communion and relationship with prayer, worship, and reading scripture in spirit and in truth. 

There are things that I've had to step away from because God is dealing in His way with those things and desires to keep me on His track. Those "things" in the natural seem good and should have God's stamp of approval because they are ministry related and done in His name but God's ways are higher and so much sweeter. Can anybody say amen?! Some people won't agree but that's OK, the murmurs just have to roll off your back. In the secret place with The Lord and with the support of those around you who can truly perceive the move of God this period of time will bring a new revelation of who God says you are. In this season, unlike other past seasons, it was easy for me to let go and move with the Spirit of God because I know He's going to teach me something good. I've tasted this very fruit in the past and I've seen God's goodness and the joy that overflows from His dwelling place.

On another note, My Summer II Mexican American Lit class officially starts tomorrow and I couldn't be any more excited. My best friend is also teaching me to play piano, something a few seasons past I thought would be impossible. My excuse was that I'm not a good multi-tasker but God just laughs at my excuses and hugs me before sending me on my way. I've been reading through The Bible so much to the point where it's been a day long thing sometimes. I know I won't always have that kind of time so this season is so important to and for me. It's a step back in order to step in. A hungry heart The Lord cannot resist and that's my purpose in this time...to love on my God and to rest in the fact that my Beloved's desire is for me.

Venturing Through The Book of Psalms

(Psalm 23) 

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. 

He makes me lie down in green pastures, 

he leads me beside quiet waters,

he refreshes my soul. 

He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. 

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, 

I will fear no evil, for you are with me;

your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 

You prepare a table before me 

in the presence of my enemies. 

You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. 

Surely your goodness and love will follow me 

all the days of my life, 

and I will dwell in the house of the Lord 

forever.

*~*~*

If there's one book of The Bible that I can't get enough of that's the book of Psalms. I find myself currently there, trying hard not to highlight every verse. Lately, as my best friend and I sing to and worship The Lord together (me on the mic and him on the guitar) I find myself flowing with psalms. My heart is storing up what I read and as I begin to release new songs in the spirit I notice that my own words have now meshed with God's word. It feels so right, so beautiful as The Word of God is being declared and released into the spiritual atmosphere. I can't quite say how long it'll take for me to finish this book but I'm definitely enjoying the journey. Yup, it's been quite a journey.

Today my day was filled with some early rising, prayer, and gardening. I went with my Mom to her prayer group "Genesis" and loved seeing The Holy Spirit show up. I'm telling y'all, amazing supernatural things happen when two or more people come into agreement. Though I was the youngest one there, there is no age in the spirit so I connected the minute I stepped foot through the front door. As my Mom preached what The Lord was putting in her spirit, some of the other members and myself prayed in tongues. There was a point when we started reading through a passage of the book of Revelations that I began to feel electric pulses gently moving up and down my arms. My eyes could not hold back my tears. His presence is so sweet. The Holy Spirit made Himself tangibly known. Toward the end of the meeting we all held hands and as I began to sing in tongues and as my Mom began to anoint with oil The Holy Spirit just completely wrecked us for His glory. Someone was about to fall over. When we are The Lord's vessels and we seek for more of Him He gives it to us. Yes there is a price to pay, but just like Bill Johnson said in his book, "More God. More! I must have more of You at any cost! If I lose respectability and get You in the exchange, I'll gladly make that trade. Just give me more of You." It's mind-boggling how God has been answering so many of my past and current questions as I read His Word and also Bill Johnson's book "When Heaven Invades Earth." This season of my life has been busy but full of revelation, restoration, and yes tribulation. But I rejoice! I've tasted and I've seen that The Lord is good so my peace is rooted in Christ and my anchor is He.

*~*~*

(Psalm 32:7-8)

You are my hiding place;

you will protect me from trouble

and surround me with songs 

of deliverance.

I will instruct you and teach you

 in the way you should go;

I will counsel you 

with my loving eye on you.

*~*~*

It's official, my Mommy and I are starting a mini-nursery. 

I'm in love!

\\\\The Spirit Knows Best: Breathing Once Again////

*~*~*~*~*

Exhaustion...a product of over working one's self to the point of running out of energy. To find joy in these moments, however, is not that hard for this girl. Yes, the girl there to the side really wishes there were hot chocolate in her mug but no, no, she can't have that, so instead...water. Water. Anyways, what I really wanted to get to is a little of what's been going on. I know I've been posting a lot of updates lately but there's a lot going on in this girls life. I mean, finals in themselves have been mind boggling and crazy. Never in my college career have I had a harder semester. Has it been worth it though? Yes. I know the Lord has me right where He wants me. Though it may be hectic attending Pan Am and Psalmist school I enjoy the moments of triumph and learn from the times of perseverance. The best part of doing life with God is knowing that your part is the natural and His is the supernatural. I study and He keeps me awake. I get psycho-stressed and He makes me laugh or moves someone to call me up and shake me back into all things sane. The Lord is...my everything. Honestly, if God does call you to do something He will get you through it victoriously. Never settle for anything less than that. We may stumble, but the word says we can no longer fall because the Lord's hand will sustain us. My last final was supposedly today but when I showed up and walked into a dark auditorium I began to question myself. I called up my Music Appreciation Prof. (because he's cool like that) and asked what was going on. And so there I figured out that there was no final because he counted our last exam as such. You can imagine how I felt right? Ecstatic! And once that wore off and reality set in, I wanted to just fall to the floor and cry. It was relief with a hint of frustration. God bless the Lord's heart for allowing me to live only fifteen minutes away from my University, seriously I was in need of some bed time. For some reason as tired as I may be there is always one thing that I'm not too tired for: writing. Imagine that? How can something that takes so much thought be relaxing?

There. Exactly right there is the connection that I was trying to make.

Times are tough. Some days brighter than others. And no, no I'm not going to say, "but the Lord is there with you," though it is true. What I will say is this: It is possible to love what is unlovable, enjoy the unenjoyable, and find peace in the midst of chaos. Our mind says go, go, go because when stress kicks in our brain is programmed to run without looking back. Right then and there is exactly when we should stop. Right when your mind says, "but look at the time," you should be hitting the floor on your knees and seeking the Lord's peace and strength. Your spirit knows better than your flesh, though your flesh thinks it knows it all. Spiritually we break chains when we let Jesus be the anchor that stops us from drifting farther and farther out to sea. Listen to your spirit and the Lord will glorify Himself, I am living proof of that for sure.

<<<-My Spirit Hit The Floor Running Thanksgiving Day->>>

12:00AM

 I lay awake, talking on the phone with my friend. Right after we hung up I literally fell asleep, literally. With my cell by my side and my pillow drenched in sweet dreams, at last my body fell into a deep deep slumber.

6:00AM

Seldom do I wake up at such an early time. Little rays of light shined through my window, tickling my eyes. I rose to my feet and thanked the Lord for so many big and little things. Quiet: the perfect ambiance for some intimate time with God. Can somebody say "Soul Food"? I piled up my three notebooks, huge water bottle, and Bible in my arms and crept downstairs toward the couch in our living room. I really felt like my Spirit was just crying out and saying, "Feed me Deya, feed me!" Pages and pages later, I journaled for a bit and finally got into the word. I wanted to cry as I read the life of David as I approached the end of the second book of Samuel. After some amusing conversations with my God, my Mami (how we say mom in Spanish) came downstairs and we ate a yummy breakfast. A nice sandwich comprised of whole grain bread, ham, lettuce, tomato, avocado, mayo, and mustard. This may not be your typical breakfast but it's part of the healthy meal plan that thanks to God I am now following. Tips to come!

2:00PM

The smell of turkey, stuffing, gravy, and green-bean-casserole filled the air and floated up the stairs and into our three bedrooms. The four of us gathered around the table, agreed as we came together in prayer, and ate my Mami's amazing food. It was so good! We laughed, reminaced, and then laughed some more!

5:00PM

And the crazy back and forth driving began! First stop, my Abuelita (grandma) Yolanda's house which is ten minutes away in Mission. We drove back to our old neighborhood, past our first house and seven houses later, parked in front of my Abuelito's (grandparents's) House. My little sister, mom, dad, and I walked in, abrasando y saludando (hugging and saying hello with a custom side cheek kiss), all my aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents. I love our culture and I love how God just transcends all culture to define and receive us. Because we had eaten at home I just grabbed a teeny slice of pumpkin pie while laughing my head off with my cousin Genesis. I hadn't seen her in forever since she took off to Texas A&M in the Fall. They officially converted her and I couldn't help but laugh and throw it in her face as we chuckled and loudly spilled over the couch making our usual references to Transformers Movies, (apparently only we do this) "Don't talk to me don't talk to me criminal!" I missed my Prima (cousin) so much! Before we had to leave to head on over to our second stop I got to say Hi to my cousin Laura, a news anchor for Telemundo 40, so that was cool too. I honestly had a great time as strange as it felt revisiting the roads that use to break my fall as I fell when learning how to ride my bike, that use to be targets for setting fire to fireworks in a glass bottle on Año Nuevo (New Years).

8:00PM

Second stop: Abuelita Marta's house. Here abraze y salude, I smiled, giggled, cried, and prayed. My Tia (Aunt) Chio has been bed bound for a while now with Cancer. Just like my Mami she's an amazing Woman of God with faith that can move mountains. All twenty of us gathered around her, held hands, as my Papi (Daddy) and then Mami led us in powerful prayer. We're all believing God for her recovery and restoration because we've seen and have experienced first-hand what the Lord can do if we dare to believe. We all know that the case is not the same for everyone but as Believers we know that God prepares his people for what is to come, revealing to us that which is hidden. Through dreams we have all seen my aunt walking, talking, and giving testimony of her experience. Even my grandma of my dad's side of the family has dreamed her. I can't even fathom what the Lord has in store for my Tia but like Jobe she will be restored and overflowing in blessing because not once did she complain nor deny her God, her Lord and Savior. We serve the living God who's hand is not too short to save. I believe it!

*~*~*~*~*

Ahhh, what a beautiful Thanksgiving this was.